Dual....:-)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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