oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
