We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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