Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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