i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
