come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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