Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
