just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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