I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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