why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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