Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
