Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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