yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
