is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
