i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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