Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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