shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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