I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dick very happy bro
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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