This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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