never play flip cup with pint glasses
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize