I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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