Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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