My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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