Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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