They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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