none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
