Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
