Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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