She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
