he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
