Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
