THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
