That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
