I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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