so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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