Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
