so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
