this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
