Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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