She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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