I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
