since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
