She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
