I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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