grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
