omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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