I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She is in my trunk
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
