Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
