You really coming over, don't trick.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
