we have officially lost it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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