Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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