Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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