We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
