can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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