Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
