The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize