I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
