yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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