His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
