Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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