i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
