Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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