dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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