walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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