God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
