the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
