Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
