what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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