I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
