omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
