come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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